I’m trying to come up with a decent testable hypothesis. Basically my impression is that in any relationship (work, romantic, whatever), you have something like a 1 in 4 chance of the other person being dependable about answering calls regularly, calling you only when necessary, etc. Things contributing to this:
- People leave phones on silent, don’t wear them in ways that they’ll feel the vibrate.
- People don’t know how to manage contacts and so can’t tell that it’s you calling.
- People don’t know how to check or send ANY kind of message (voicemail, SMS, etc.).
- People don’t know how to keep their phones charged.
- People don’t know how cheap unlimited calling plans are, so they live in fear of using up minutes and therefore only answer what they feel will be ‘important’ calls.
- People lose their phones constantly.
- People call you constantly without having thought out what they want to talk about, prompting YOU to stop answering YOUR phone regularly (I’m definitely guilty of this).
- People have a blanket Don’t Answer policy. Perhaps they picked up from Tyler Durden, forgetting that that habit is a handy device in the story that allows us to believe he and the Narrator are two distinct people.
Did I miss any? And yes, with some of these I’m talking about apply even to your theoretically-clued coworkers who are very tech-savvy. No, I don’t think this is only a generational thing. So do you agree with my observation? How would we go about turning it into a testable hypothesis? How would we go about encouraging handset makers and carriers to eliminate some of these problems through better interfaces? Is there some place where people have already discussed–or, better yet, written academic papers about 
–this topic in depth?
BTW, if I ever call you and sound like I don’t know wtf I want from you, please point that out to me. I hate being a hypocrite.
Hmmm. Sticking with that for a moment, is this whole reachability issue perhaps an issue of large variation in how much social value people place on (1) any given relationship and (2) the medium? Is there really that much variation in cellphone socialization? Maybe I should try to articulate my own personal axiomatic beliefs about cell phone usage. That’s for another post…
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Then there are just hermity people that occasionally just decide they don’t feel in the mood to interact with anyone, and so don’t answer their phones. Not that I’d know any of those.
I will never be comfortable with the idea that I should be reachable at all times. I want stretches of time that are my own that don’t get interrupted by a ringing phone, a visitor, or whatever.
The other thing is that calls interrupt work. The kind of work that a lot of us do (research, writing, coding, etc) is not served well by interruptions. In the interest of productivity I often do not answer the phone, or email, or im, or whatever, when I am working. With the phone, I often wait to return calls until I can talk to them while I do something else productive, like fold my laundry or put away dishes.
I think you have to be very careful trying to talk about being reachable have a relationship to value placed on social relationships at all. Yes, sometimes I won’t answer because it’s Person X who is not close to me and I don’t feel like talking to them, but I’d answer if it were Person Y. But maybe I value Person X more than Person Y, but Person X is chatty and gets offended if you say you can’t talk long, while Person Y is cool with that. It’s socially easier to not be reachable to Person X if you don’t want to be on the phone long. I greatly value my relationship with my mother, but at some times in the past have avoided her calls because I knew they would be fraught and leave me emotionally raw.
Also I question your implication that people should only call you when necessary. Not exactly sure what you mean by “when necessary,” but calling people is about a lot more than information transfer. Is it ever Necessary for me to call my mom if I don’t have a specific question or request to ask of her? Yes. But for very different reasons. Maybe “what I want from you” is just to feel connected to you for a bit and let you know I care.
One person’s Necessary does not equal the other person’s Necessary, either. So and so feel it is necessary to call me to ask me ridiculous computer use questions, but I think they should try doing a simple Google search on their problem instead. Person X may feel it is critical to call me up and tell me their Big News, but I may be caught up in something else and frankly not really care about that right now.
Anyway. I guess what I’m saying is that I take issue with some of your underlying assumptions.
Maybe that’s coming up in your axiomatic beliefs post.
If you search the ACM digital library for “mobile phones” or “cell phones” or related type phrases, you will be inundated with stuff related to this. I don’t have anything in particular, though.
I’m not really clear on exactly what you are looking to find out, just from reading this, so no ideas on a testable hypothesis. Next time I see you we can talk more if you like.
I’ve always taken the POV that the phone does not have an inherent right to be answered.
In this day and age, email is preferred. I think the phone should be used more for time-sensitive communications and emergencies. The phone causes “interrupts”, which I generally don’t want.
Yeah, I know, I sound like an isolationist curmudgeon. But I don’t just sit around waiting for the phone to ring. For me to take the call, something else gets put aside.
At least with email, I can work the communication into my own schedule without being interrupted.
My attitude about ignoring the phone isn’t a statement at all about how I value relationships. It’s more of a statement of how I value my time.
Hmmm. Looks like I do need to write that axiomatic beliefs post. Good points on interrupts, both of you.
Oh, but first: exams and final papers, etc. *sigh*
I pay for my phone as a convenience to me. Given that, for the most part I talk on the phone when I find it convenient. I don’t pick up unless the following criteria are met
1. I know who the caller is
2. I have something to say to or something I’m interested in hearing from the caller.
3. It is a convenient time and place to talk.
4. I’m in the mood to talk on the phone.
I occasionally wonder if it’s rude that I’m so self-serving about my phone answering behavior. Perhaps so. I do, out of obligation, violate these guidelines from time to time. More often with my family, I’m sure. In general, though, I’m not terribly concerned that others think I’m difficult to reach.
I take offense to the idea that because one person thinks unlimited plans are cheap, then everyone should. I get pretty annoyed when people text me since it costs me 15 cents per message. I could spend $6 a month for a plan, but it would be wasted 10 months out of 12. I prefer not to give AT&T any more money than necessary.
About your last point, which most closely resembles my approach to the phone, I think you’re wrong to dismiss it. I belong to several organizations and have many times been stuck listening to people complain for extended periods of time about things completely immaterial to me. No thanks. Leave a message. If it’s interesting, relevant, or important, I’ll call back. Otherwise, I’ve only wasted 1 minute rather than 20.
Please do share your mobile phone beliefs. I’m always interested to hear the reasons why people feel compelled to answer calls in class, in meetings, and other situations I’d think of as inappropriate. Not to imply that this describes you. I wouldn’t know. Do tell, though.